Well here we go, a new blog! I've been thinking about it for a while and blogging has helped me with getting through less awesome times in my life so maybe it is time to get back in to it. And here we are starting afresh.
I'm going to start off with quite a serious topic: being a weight-restored anorexic. Therapy and medication and doctors don't really prepare you for the "after".
One: you won't ever really be 100% comfortable in your body. I know a lot of people aren't comfortable in their own skin anyway but for us select few who have beaten anorexia into the dingiest darkest corner of our minds, it's just that bit harder. As much yoga, meditation and calming mind-clearing crap you do it's still not awesome. But it is better, quieter, less stressful.
Two: you have to keep up with all the techniques you used during whatever recovery process you went through. That means no body checking, no weighing, no calorie counting, no goal weights, no skipping medications. It may seem all fine and dandy for a week or even a few months but then all those little triggers that you could deal with individually build up in to an overwhelming mass and you're not in the best headspace again. But you can get back out of that place by using those techniques. Seek professional help if you need it, it is not weak to ask for help.
Three: you're going to go through bad patches. But you're so much better prepared for them. Bad body days. Bloated days. Tired days. Stressed days. Binge days. Restriction days. Emotional torment days. But they don't make you a bad person. They make you a person. So get through them. Tomorrow is always better.
Four: some people are toxic. Some people are only mildly toxic. If someone is bringing you down, cut them out. You have to. You're still fighting, everyday. You don't need to make it any harder on yourself.
Five: Talking about weight and shape isn't easy. But it is something you've got to start getting educated on. See it from a marketing perspective. We're sold all these products to be thinner, weaker, prettier, and more complacent. Is that what you really want? I'm fairly sure the reason I recovered was to be a badass.
Six: Not looking anorexic doesn't mean you're not still anorexic. People don't understand mental health. You can't just wave a magic wand at an eating disorder and everything is fixed. Also you're going to have to deal with a few dickheads who think that anorexia is a joke and will totally dismiss your experience. Fuck them.
That's the major ones I can think of. But it takes time to get better. I'm still not all better. I still have some really shit days. I still have days where everything is triggering. But most days I can function like an average person. I am still alive, I'm still fighting.
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